I'm stressing about my pain and the fact that winter is just making it 10 times worse. I'm getting this new kind of pain in my hip, deep in the joint to the point that at times I have to actually pick my leg up and move it. And my tailbone pain is a killer; I really wish I had the $25 to spend on a coccyx pillow. I can't really go out walking anymore because that evil white dirt has started to fall from the sky. And me walking in that is just a disaster waiting to happen. So I have my exercise bike which I ride but since I've been having the coccyx pain it's difficult. Which is why I started walking. There's this vicious cycle theme going on in my life right now... It's quite annoying. And my SAD has been flaring up. I started crying because of something that happened in-game and the ensuing argument last night.
So. Money. I know I've said this umpteen times before but I really hate it. On my last pay check I had half my hours cut. So I'm barely scraping by right now. I really don't even know if the amount of groceries I have will last until next Friday. I feel like I'm constantly in the red, just barely getting by, literally living paycheck to paycheck. This car payment is killing me. I'll be done with it in March but that's still a long ways to go. I'm trying to keep money in my savings so I can cover emergencies and oh shit moments (it seems like there have been several of those lately). I just feel like I'm floundering here. I know, I know, things will get better. I know. It just really sucks right now. And since it's the holidays it really, really sucks. I wanted to get all this cool stuff for everyone and now I don't even know if I'm going to be able to afford much. Yeah, yeah, the holidays are about family and it's the thought that counts. But still... -sigh- There's this song by Martina McBride that really sums things up for me right now.
"This is for all you girls about twenty-five
In a little apartment, just trying to get by
Living on, on dreams and spaghetti-o's
Wondering where you life is gonna go."
So. In other news... I have a pretty big announcement. Or at least, in my life it's big. And I know that I've said this like... at least three times before. But I'm 99% sure it's for good this time. I'm quitting WoW. The announcement of the new expansion was this past weekend. It seemed wonderful. And then... it wasn't. They're gearing the game towards the uber casuals and just ruining it in general. For people like me and Chris who like a challenge, it's not going to be fun anymore. So we're waiting for ESO to come out. Not sure what we're going to do in the mean time because that's 4-6 months from now. And by permanently leaving the game, that means that a lot of my characters will be getting the axe in my mind-space. Sai will always be a permanent fixture. I think the only other one that will remain will be Velahndra. It's really sad and it's going to be really quiet and lonely up there. But I just... they were created for the WoW universe (I know, Sai and Vel were too but they're different) and it's hard to carry that over. So yeah, that's that.
Al of course, the topic that I touch on most posts recently. Things with Chris are... going. He too is quitting WoW and dragging me to ESO. Not sure where our RP stands, as it is set in the WoW universe and such. He called my "honey" the other day. That kinda threw me for a loop. He has started complaining more about Sarah to me than he has before. And I even got to get a burn on her that he agreed with (which was just total win). The trip is drawing closer. I thought I could buy his ticket on this next check (I keep saying that and then shit happens) but looks like it'll have to wait again. Heather pretty well gave me the third degree while interrogating me about it last week, persistently asking if we were going to sleep together. And then Zack kept bringing it up this weekend. And then mom and Stephanie (we all took a trip to Albert Lea to go shopping and such). Mom told them that if it was to happen, neither of us will ever, ever cop to it (which is true); she also told me that I can deny it all I want but I've been in an emotional long distance relationship with him since we got over the break up... I guess Zack had said something to the effect of "If Chris says he's moving back soon after the trip, we'll know they did it." But we all know that he wouldn't move back, it would be me going there (to which mom said if I did that I would be a world-class sucker, which I am, though I think it's more hopeless romantic than anything). In all honesty, I don't foresee his relationship with bitchwhoreface lasting. I've said that since Day one (so has everyone else). March will be a year for them; I don't see it lasting that long, especially after the trip here, since he's going to be staying with me (not that she knows that but I foresee a fight a'brewin' about him seeing me while he's here and what her thoughts are on that). But after that train wreck happens, I don't know what he'll do. They say history repeats itself and if history is any indication... Well... Yeah. Only time will tell right now.
So that's about it, folks. As always, will report back in a few weeks unless something amazing happens. (not likely).
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