I made it, I made it!

Holy fuck waffles and cream, batman! I made it through the work week with the flu without calling in or going home early! And my gods, am I exhausted. But I made it! 

That was the longest four work days ever. @_@ I was dead when I got home each day. 

Why am I having such a hard time writing today? -shakes head- I just... am having a hard time getting the words from my head to here. I feel like I've been sharing so much lately and even though I have more to share, it just doesn't want to come out. Maybe it's because the last four days or so have really just been me being sick. There's not really much to being sick. I cough, I sneeze, I sniffle, I sleep. A lot. Much sleep has happened. And much more will come. 

I started working in the kitchen at work this week (which, by the way, gave me the new job title Adventure Chef; that's even more lame that Adventure Guide). It is by far harder than working the counter. It is literally non-stop from the time I get there til the time I go home. Running all over the store, watching timers,  checking stocks, etc. It's purely exhausting. But I only have to do it for a few months; I just keep telling myself that. However hopefully this will give me experience to maybe get into Kwik Trip or something when I move back home.

Speaking of, things seem to be falling into place with that. Laura and Rob will be selling me Rob's car so I'll have wheels. I spoke to Lance and he and I are straight about me coming back. He's going to keep the cats in the interim between Chris leaving and me coming. Chris told me that I'm welcome to anything he doesn't take to Detroit and will let me know sooner to the date what he will and will not be taking. All that's left is to just stay on the track I'm on now and keep saving and I'll be home and independent in no time!

Alright. So. You all are probably wondering what's going on with Nick, yah? Well, not much actually. Since I've been sick we haven't been talking much, due to all that sleep I've been having. He's been having more issues with Aislinn too, which I was doing my best to help him with. But the more unhappy he got, the more irritated that I got. I may have snapped on him but I tried to rectify it quickly. I think things are mended now and as soon as I'm better, things will go back to normal - RPing and playing The Secret World and so on. 

However, a friend from my past has come into play. He and I have been on and off RP partners for three years now and things never really went past that. Chris didn't like him so I let his feelings reflect on my own and I never let him in or let him get to know me. Now that I'm a free woman, however, I have the opportunity to give him another chance and actually see what kind of person he is. He apparently recently became single too (seriously, what the fuck? I become single and everyone else does. I'm a trendsetter apparently.) and kinda sorta in a round about way last night started coming onto me. Not in a cheesy, sleazy way by any means; he was very sweet about it. He told me he would love to get to know me better and I told him that sounded like a great idea, but I was by no means making any promises for anything more than friendship. I don't do absolutes because that gives room for let down. 

I'm not closing any doors regarding anyone, but I am keeping my screens closed, as a wise person put it to me.

Surprise!

I'M GOING HOME, BITCHES! 

-squeals and dances around- 

OK, so it's not going to be immediately, since that will awkward, seeing as my ex is still is residence. But I will be going when Laura and Rob make their move to Madison (looking in the end of August - October range). 

Mom and I talked a lot about in the last two days. In the coming months I am going to work work work and save save save like a Jew (I know, I'm terrible). We figure that should hours not get cut (again) and there are no accidents, I *should* have around $3,600 as a "nest egg" as mom put it, to live off of until I can find work (but more on that in a moment). I am putting off buying/getting a lot of things to do this - getting my tooth fixed, getting a decent pair of shoes, and buying all the little things that I've wanted for a while. All that matters right now is going home.

Once we have a set date, or as close to, I will start looking for jobs a month in advance and setting up phone interviews. I'm hoping that I can snag one within a decent amount of time (a month or so after I move). I can try and get back to Super America in Fairmont (NOT Albert Lea where I was before) since that's where I'll be going to school. I'm *sure* that I could get Audrey (my old boss) to put in a good word for me there; she liked me a lot. Either way, I WILL find work. I no longer have another schedule to work around nor the pull of wanting to be home with my loved one at night. Until school starts next fall (that is my goal right now) I can work whatever the hell hours I can get. I might even try to get in at St. Luke's again as a CNA (since that is kinda the first step to surgical tech and it would look FANTASTIC on my resume). Hell, depending on how things line up and what kind of terms Chris and I are on, I may be able to get him to put in a good word for me to take his job. It's a long shot, but I can't discount anything right now!

I told Laura last night about all this too. She's going to support me doing whatever I do, but she did voice some valid concerns. She is afraid that I might fall back into the pattern I was in before without her there to push me. She's afraid that me living in that apartment might do more harm than good, because of all the memories. She's afraid that while I'll be very happy at first but then I'll be unhappy again because of geography. I told her to think of me as a car battery. I was dead before she got me and bringing me here gave me a jump. Staying here is going to give me juice and charge me up to full so that when I go back I can do all the things I need to do. That I will still have mom to push me and she will be able to do so from far away. While yes, the apartment does carry a lot of memories with it, so do a plethora of other things, such as Star Trek, video games, Swedish Fish, etc. I need to start making new memories and I can't let myself shy away and fear these things. And before, yes, I was unhappy because of where I lived. However, I lived with someone controlling, who never wanted to leave the house. I will be alone with no one to tell me what I can and can't do. If I want to go to Mankato and go dancing or something, I will. Because I'll have the freedom to do what I want, when I want, without having to worry about upsetting someone. 

I know that she's going to be upset to see me go, but we both know I gotta do me right now and I gotta take care of me and do what makes ME happy. And frankly, being near family makes me happy. I lost my blood family a long time ago... The Newman's are my family now. If I got nothing else from that relationship, I got a family that loves me and cares for me and a family that I adore. 

On the note of Laura, I'm going to talk to her about taking Derpy (their kitten) off their hands; she knows that him going with me will be a good thing since he will be loved and taken care of and have playmates. I'm also going to talk to her about Rob's car; they plan on selling it anyways, so if they are selling it at a reasonable price I'll ask if they'll sell it to me. 

I think that's it for today, lovelies. I know that I've been blogging SO much lately, but my brain has just been in over-load mode so there are a lot of things floating around up there. @_@

Homesick and Sad

-bangs head against wall-
NOTHING.
EVER.
GOES.
ACCORDING.
TO.
PLAN.
IN.
MY.
LIFE.
-screams-
Ever. 

Fuck, I've cried so much today my eyes hurt.

I just want ONE thing to go right. Just one. But that's just too goddamn much to ask. We're right back where I was, two years ago. Hell, there's even a post here about it somewhere.

I thought I was a merely $850 away from going back to school. And then when my income taxes were snatched and not sent to that loan, I made some calls and found out I have -another- loan that I have to pay off to get financial aid. And this one is not just another $850 stint.

Three thousand seven hundred fifty seven dollars and eighty two cents.

Yes, you read that right. $3,757.82. 

Now where the hell am I going to get that kind of money before I want to register for school next year? Yup. That's right. I'm not. 

And there go my plans for being in school by next year and being gainfully employed in the medical field by 2015. I just don't know what I'm going to do. I feel empty and useless and weak... 

I want to be home, with my family. Home is safe. Home is secure. Home is where I'm not alone. I know you're saying that I have Laura and I love her to death and everything she's doing for me, but there's nothing that replicates the feeling of home. 

That being said.. I guess that this time is as good as any to touch on the subject from my last post about going home. Mom and I did a lot of talking yesterday about my future plans. And about Chris. She told me that things between him and Sarah had progressed on his trip and that she would be making the trip to Minnesota to meet the family (my family... -growls-). She says there is a distinct possibility that he will be moving to Michigan with her at some point within the year. (On that note, if I can't take all three of the girls, he will be taking the older ones and promises their safety and well-being.) 

She and I discussed the option of me coming home and taking Chris' place at the apartment and going to school in Fairmont. I would be lying if I said I didn't want this more than anything. I want to go home. Minnesota, despite all my bitching about the weather and the lack of things to do, is my home through and through. Minnesota is where my family is. Minnesota is where my heart is. 

While not a huge possibility though I'm not discounting it in the least bit, the option of going back this summer is there. And if that were to happen, I would be keeping all of my cats with me, where they belong. And even if I don't go back now and wait until I'm out of school, whenever that is, mom has already said that she would stand behind me and tell Chris to either bring the cats back to me or let me drive and get them. A lot of things are up in the air right now and that makes me nervous because I thrive on security and stability. I'm going to do some praying and meditating and positive thinking here in the coming weeks and months and maybe even throw in a tarot reading for good measure.

Either way, I will go to school, I will have my girls, I will go home, and I will be near my family.

Just Stuff (I've only edited this like 4 times so far)

Monday [Saturday] morning after my first 40-hour work week ever. 

I was fucking exhausted. 

Oh, of course you were, sweety. You might say, smiling and nodding. No. I was so tired, I came home yesterday, got in bed, was asleep by 3 PM and didn't get up until 9:45 PM. Got up, ate dinner, watched Merlin, then was back in bed by midnight. I slept off and on all night but got up at 8 AM. Yah. Fucking. Exhausted. I guess that's what I get for running on only a few hours of sleep every night, supplementing it with Monsters. So very glad that I only have two more days of getting up at 4 AM and that my schedule switches to normal times this week. Guh, I was NOT made for being up and active that early. I swear people have to be coded for that shit. 

I found out this morning, before I took the best fucking shower I've ever had (I dunno, it just felt amazing), that if our scale is accurate, I've lost 15 pounds since I moved here. O_O Tha's a lot for a month and a half. I just need to keep it up! I'm sure I won't be losing 10 pounds every month or anything, but it's a good start! Especially when I get better shoes and can start walking. 

So I slept a lot yesterday, as I mentioned before. But it wasn't JUST because I worked all week and was tired. I cried yesterday, pretty hard. It had been nearly two weeks since I cried over him and I guess that my body had just had enough of me shoving it all down and burst. I laid in my bed and pretty much cried until I exhausted myself and feel asleep. I was talking to mom about it too, before I got picked up from work until I laid down. I feel like (and I love all of my friends to death, I really do, but you all tell me what *you* feel and what *you* think I should be doing) she's the only one I can talk to about Chris. She is supportive no matter what I choose to do regarding him, because that's what moms are supposed to do. -nod- Anywho, as I laid there yesterday crying and thinking about everything, I composed this little bit here in my head, to make people understand, or at least try to.

I am still hurting, and I will be for a very long time. I know that, as my friends, you all think that I need to forget him and put it all behind me. And in time, I will. But the wounds are still very fresh and very deep and the healing is taking its sweet time. 
I also know that you all don't have the fondest feelings for him because of what's went on. Hell, his family thinks the same. And I do too.
However, this doesn't change the fact that I still love him, and likely always will. And I do miss him. Do not mistake this though, as me missing the bad stuff, like feeling ignored and taken for granted. 
What I do miss is the comfort, the stability, and the security that he offered. I miss the good parts of him. I miss doing my penguin dance for him when we ate Swedish Fish. I miss him coming up behind me when I was in sweats and a tank top and him telling me that I was sexy, just because, and on that note, the times he told me he thought my tits looked fantastic; now part of that was him just being a man but he knew how much I didn't like them because of how large they are and he did try to help my self-esteem. I miss the times he randomly brought me home treats like candy, movies, or stuffed animals. I miss the way he fiercely guarded and took care of me when I was sick or hurt. But what I miss most of all, more than anything else, is the incredibly strong connection that we had with each other. The ability to look at each other and know what the other was thinking or to finish each others thoughts/say the same thing at the same time multiple times in a row. The bond that we had reached past emotional, mental, and physical; it was a spiritual bond that extended to our souls. I don't expect many of you to understand this, since our beliefs differ from many of yours.
I'm doing my best to move forward, to press onward, and work toward the future. But I'm only human after all. A very emotional human.

Addendum 1: I think I have a five year plan (or a some amount of years plan). As of right now, I'm working and saving as much as humanly possible. Ideally in five months when we plan on going to Madison I'll have saved $2,000. According to mom, I can put $2k down on a new car (Ford Fiesta is what we were looking at, but a Focus would be nice too) and pay $165/month for 60 months on a new car. I could do that and find a job ASAP if I don't have one lined up already and then start school next year. After I finish school, unless something huge comes up in between now and then, I will be moving back home, to Minnesota, to be with my family. 
However! In these next five months, should something huge happen, someone win the lottery, or some other big event occur, I *might* go home this summer. It's all kinda a long story and I'll touch on it more in my next post, but I just wanted to share this bit of info. 

Addendum 2: I was given the assignment to go watch The Lion King from mom this afternoon. She said that I needed perspective and that was the perfect movie to give it. So while I searched for a streamable copy of it, I racked my brain trying to figure out what she meant. And as I sat here and watched it (and cried like a fucking baby when Mufasa died; that really hits home for me) I realized what she meant. And this is what I have to say about it.

Oh, Disney... Ever the giver of perspective, life lessons, and good advice. Now that I had cried a sufficient amount of tears, not just for movie sad but for realizations too... I will leave you all with these quotes from the movie.

"You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life."
"Change is good but it's not easy."
"Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it you can either run from it, or learn from it."

Jeebus, is it Sunday [read: my Friday] afternoon yet?!

This was my first ever full time 40-hour work week. It's not even over and I'm exhausted. Not mentally, just physically. My body aches in places I didn't even know I could hurt. My feet and knees especially. Plus the paralyzed nerve in my left leg is deciding to attack with a vengeance. It's worse than it's ever been before and it's a terrible burden. I found a stash of the pills my neurologist prescribed to me in my purse so I've started taking one a day, as opposed to the two a day that I'm supposed to take. I need to ration them out since I can't very well visit him for a check up to get more. I wish I would have went and got a cortisone shot before I left too. Fuck. 

I will be SO glad when tomorrow afternoon rolls around. Going to come home, take a nap, and then... veg out and play video games. Or RP. Or watch something. Fuck, I dunno. It'll be my weekend; I'll do whatever the hell I want.  Tomorrow is also St. Patty's Day, so I'm going to try and be festive by dressing up. I bought white iridescent ribbons to go in my pigtails as well as a green headband with a pretty flower thingy on it. Gonna paint my nails and do green make up. I have no idea why I'm getting dressed up, I just am. DON'T JUDGE ME! 

Got my first check today too. Wasn't much, since it was only for two days, but yay still! First check! Woohoo! Totally stoked for that. On the note of checks and working, my hours at work got changed, as did my position. Starting Wednesday (with the exception of next weekend only) I will be working 11-5 in the deli, making all the hot foods, sammiches, salads, and all those other noms we sell. I would prefer to be on the register... but -shrug- management is lame and is giving the chick that I replaced her hours back so I either take the deli or I lose my job. =/ They are shorter hours, which will be good for my leg, and I'll have a real weekend (meaning Sat/Sun).  My next check should be around $500 so I'll be able to get things rolling as far as bills and savings go. 

Things are still hard, and I still cry some days when I'm alone. I still get very sad and very lonely. It doesn't much help being the third wheel around here either. But I'm dealing. Things are getting better every day, even if it's just an ounce at a time. Spending four years with someone... you, without really meaning to, link them with random things. Like Swedish Fish. I want to cry every time I see a pack of them, because Chris and I used to do this cute thing with them. He would hold it above my head and I would be silly and waddle like a penguin for it. Hell, he even introduced me to them. And it happens with damn near everything; I see him everywhere and everything reminds me of him. I try to act like it doesn't bother me, but it does. I hate it, and some days I wish I could just erase all the memories. But memories are learning experiences. =/

Speaking of him, he returned from his trip. Fuck if I know what happened there, but he messaged me the night he got back (rudely awakening me from my sleep an hour and a half before I had to be up for work) to talk to me about our scouting mission to Wisconsin before we moved and about the cats. He apparently wants to know when I'll be coming so he can "make a timeline of life" or some shit like that. And he wants me to take all three of the girls. He says he doesn't want them separated, which I can understand, but before he was so gung-ho about me NOT taking the older girls and that I wouldn't take Anera from him come hell or high water. I'm still waiting for mom to find out what the fuck is going on... the waiting is killing me.

Having fun with Nick and playing The Secret World. Currently watching him stream Mass Effect for me. Is fun. ^_^ -sighs- And then yesterday... he went out of town to see his family and while we were texting, he randomly says "I miss you." I'm not caught off guard and made speechless very often, but that totally did it. I was like "Uhhh... fuck... what do I even say to this?" x_x I told him that I missed him too, which in truth I did because I wanted to play with him but couldn't since he was gone. I just... that was not what I was expecting him to say. 

Just felt like writing a bit today...

Not really sure why I'm blogging today. It's the last day of my weekend and I'm kinda bored. Started my laundry and did the dishes. I messed around on TERA for a little while this morning; rolled up an Elin sorcerer but grew stir-crazy for some reason. I came out of my lair (what I affectionately call my room) and read a little bit of my current dragon romance novel (for anyone interested, there are four of them. I'm on the second currently. It's called the Dragon Kin series by G.A. Aiken). 

And now... bored. x_x

And in the time that I paused writing this, I gave a heap of relationship advice to a longtime friend. It's funny how the universe works... My fiance leaves me and all of a sudden I'm handing out love advice left and right; I suppose that whole mess really gave me some perspective on things. Maybe I should be am advice columnist... It's sad though, it really is. And frustrating too. But according to my horoscope I have a gift for these kind of things and people are going to want it, so I might as well go with the flow. 

Had an amazingly great talk with mom (who is Chris' mom but will be referred to as mom for the rest of ever) last night on Skype. It was the first time we actually got to speak to each other since the move and we gabbed for over an hour. (It actually all started by me crying and missing her because of a convo with Nick, and then her crying.) I felt really good afterwards and I think this is something I'm going to have to make a point of doing weekly. We talk on Facebook nearly every day, but it's not the same as actually hearing voices (or her seeing me). I think that once I get some steady income, I'll buy her a little webcam so we can actually video chat. I miss her to death and wish that we could be closer. Madison isn't as close as I'd like, but five hours really isn't so far to travel for holidays and such.

Nick bought me The Secret World (it's a modern day MMO) on Sunday. We started playing last night and it seems pretty cool so far. I play an Illuminati and he plays a Templar. We're going to be RPing in this too, which will make things fun. I was very shocked to find out that he bought it for me, but who turns down free games, right?! 

Once I get into the swing of my work schedule and my body stops having the aches and pains associated with being active again, I'm going to start walking/jogging/running. I have this app on my phone called Zombies, Run! I heard about it from a friend on Facebook who swears by it. There's a little story that goes along with it, with characters and such (that she says she's "got emotionally invested in"). You build a playlist of music to listen to as it instructs you what to do. It's used as a training tool to be able to run 5K's but I'll use it just for the purpose of exercise. On that note, I think I'm feeling a bit better. I'm actually working on eating regularly and drinking more water (I drink something like 9 cups, as in the measurement, a day). And once we live in a city I'll be able to go to a gym and work out there too. Knock out bod, here I come! (Ok, maybe not knock-out, but I can dream, right!)

Why do I always do this? I come on with the intent to just write a few little blurbs and by the end I've got some 600 words or so. x_x I guess it's a good thing. Writing is a good outlet that I had forsaken for a long time, and where I'm at in life right now... I need a good outlet.

A small update turned to a big one

Time for my weekly update! Hell, I don't even know when the last time I posted was. I'm just making it a point to come on here often and at least make a small post. 

Started work at Maverick. It's full time (yay) but the hours leave a little to be desired (boo). I'm off Mon/Tues, 6-2 Wed/Thur, and 5-1 Fri-Sun. Lemme just tell you, getting up at 4 AM should be morally, ethically, and legally wrong. Wrong, I tell you! Anyways. Work is busy 95% of the time. It's pretty ridiculous. I only get one 15 minute break, which is a huge difference from the last place I worked at. I hurt and I'm tired, but at least my fatigued and pain is warranted now. =/ Not that there's anyone here to say different or bitch about it.

I had my first adventure in driving in the snow yesterday as well. Came down a hill going 40, hit the snow just right, and went spinning out of control into a very deep ditch. It wasn't even 5 AM, pitch black, and freezing. I called Laura and she came to get get me, but I had apparently drained the battery. It was terrifying; I cried hysterically and couldn't stop shaking. I called into work since we had no way to get me there, came home, and crashed for three hours. I don't ever want to drive in the snow again.

I pretty well can't wait to have a steady income. I set up a monthly bill list last night and until my loan is paid off, it'll be $650/month for just bills and savings. Once we move to Madison, things will be a little different since we'll have real bills to pay there and I'll be pitching in a lot more. I have plans drawn up for two tattoos; one very soon, and another when I graduate from the surgical tech program. These are the pictures my designs will be based on. 

The lily will be on my inner left arm and represents growth and development. The caduceus will be on my inner left ankle (probably) and will represent my profession. 
But yeah... it'll be  nice to have money again. My *own* money. That I don't have to share with someone or have to ask to spend it. Freedom. It tastes... kinda good. 

But on that note... =/ Meh. I'm still very sore about this thing with Chris and his going to see Sarah. -shakes head- I may or may not have done something a bit immature and messaged her older brother and said some choice things about Chris and to make sure he stays away from his sister. Yeaaahhh... That got back to Chris and it got ugly. He didn't have a chance to get to me, thank the gods, because I'm pretty sure that would have been a fight with irreversible damage. I'm going to leave him be for the time. I'm sure that he's still greatly angry at me for what I did and I need time to just get over him and move on. At some point, I'd like us to be friends enough where we can talk and RP with each other but I have no high hopes that will come anytime in the near future.

On the note of RPing and him... Before anything, I'd like to share a quote with you to help you better understand where I'm going with this. 
"Writers aren't exactly people... They're a whole bunch of people trying to be one person." -F. Scott Fitzgerald 
I believe this with every fiber of my being. Being a writer and an RPer, I have a plethora of characters up in my head. They're their own people, with their own wants, needs, personalities, and baggage. To best describe it to someone [read: everyone] not in my head, I have this house. It's a fairly large house, similar to a mansion. I have separate wings for each universe that I write/RP in and in each wing, these characters reside. They interact with each other (and with others as well) and even more so, they talk to me. When Chris and I were together, this is sometimes how we RPed (it's just essentially LARPing) and sometimes one of us would talk to one of the other's characters (I was particularly fond of his Aven and he chose to talk to my Sai because she's the closest to my heart and can get through to me more than any of the others). So before I left, he spoke to Sai and told her that she *had* to support me and help me get through this, because without her, it would be incredibly difficult. Well... There's only one teensy, tiny problem with this. Sai is romantically involved with one of his characters, Draekyn. Not just some fling either; they are both head over heels for each other. And the break up has been very hard on her, and Draekyn from what I understand. And as of recently, she's been pretty selfish and unwilling to help me move on, because she's clinging to hope for Draekyn. So the other night she and I had a long talk. I pretty much said "Suck it up, buttercup, and stop being a selfish wench. Help me, and I'll help you." I'm not usually harsh with her, but I thought a firm hand was going to be the only thing that worked. 
SO HERE COMES THE ACTUAL POINT OF MY STORY! 
I'm at work today and it's slow at this point so I'm not really doing anything. All of a sudden, Sai starts singing to me. Now, she's not terrible in any sort; however, she's no professional either. She starts singing to me "King of Wishful Thinking." For those unfamiliar with the song, the chorus goes something like this:
"I'll get over you, I know I will.
I'll pretend my ships not sinking.
And I'll tell myself that I'm over you,
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking."
She didn't say anything after she finished, but I'm fairly sure that it was about Draekyn and she's trying to make me feel better. It was very cute and amusing. I just hope... for her sake... that Chris and I can come to an agreement about them. 

And lastly, an update on my 'like-interest' (not love interest because we don't know each other well enough for that). Things with Nick and I... are complicated. At best. We're growing a lot closer each day and it's making things tougher for each of us. The flirting has crossed the line we established (or tried to) once but it wasn't... a big deal to either of us? Hell, he initiated it and I just went with it (although I did fight the urge to at first). He's getting very fed up with his partner and I'm doing my best to be supportive while hold my stance that I'm interested in him. We [grudgingly] made an agreement a few days ago to cut back the flirting and keep a strictly platonic relationship. Yeeaaahh... that only last a few days... -shrugs- It is what it is. I'm not holding my breath for him; as much as I would adore to meet him and see the physical chemistry between us (since we have the rest of it down to a science)... I'm just not sure if that's going to be the ways things go, unfortunately. We'll see...

And so this post ended up being a lot longer than I had intended.. I apparently had a fuckton to say. @_@

Bleh... Take the good with the bad?

Oi... Some days it just doesn't even feel worth it anymore. But I'll start with the good news first.

I got a job! -dances- Yay for income! It's a full-time morning shift at a convenience store (my title is Adventure Guide, lulz) paying $8/hour. So with the only bills I have to pay being my cell phone, rent, and my loan, I should be peachy on saving money. It's been four years since I had MY own money; it'll feel nice to have that freedom again and I won't ever let another man (or woman) take that away from me.

I already have a list of things that I want/need to buy (namely a good pair of shoes) but I'm going to try and spread it out so I don't blow my first few paychecks all to hell. 

Oh! And I have a phone! My first smartphone! ^_^ I'm having a blast with it. 

As for the bad news... -shakes head- I was thoroughly shocked, and still am, when I got this news.

Chris is going to Michigan for a week to see Sarah. Like.. this week. And has had it planned for two weeks now. 
Here's a little math problem for you. If we've been apart for a month, and I left three weeks ago, and this trip has been planned for two, tell me what doesn't add up here.

Yah, I thought so.

Now, you all don't know the story of Sarah. Before I only detailed Robin. But the Cliff Notes version of her story is that the last time Chris and I broke up, she swooped in and tried to make her move on him right after the break up (though I have firm suspicions it was before that). When I tried to be the bigger person (before I knew the aforementioned) and make nice with her, this is what she said to me: "I wouldn't go trying to mend bridges with me when I'm just about to burn them anyways. Chris and I have grown very close..." Stupid good for nothing whore. So anyways, when I moved back with him, she stopped talking to him. The subject was dropped. Oh well. So after we broke up he refriended her on Facebook and they started talking and, well, the rest is apparent. 

He's going to see her for a week and test a relationship. If it works, she's going to see him (and presumably) move in this summer...