Surprise!

I'M GOING HOME, BITCHES! 

-squeals and dances around- 

OK, so it's not going to be immediately, since that will awkward, seeing as my ex is still is residence. But I will be going when Laura and Rob make their move to Madison (looking in the end of August - October range). 

Mom and I talked a lot about in the last two days. In the coming months I am going to work work work and save save save like a Jew (I know, I'm terrible). We figure that should hours not get cut (again) and there are no accidents, I *should* have around $3,600 as a "nest egg" as mom put it, to live off of until I can find work (but more on that in a moment). I am putting off buying/getting a lot of things to do this - getting my tooth fixed, getting a decent pair of shoes, and buying all the little things that I've wanted for a while. All that matters right now is going home.

Once we have a set date, or as close to, I will start looking for jobs a month in advance and setting up phone interviews. I'm hoping that I can snag one within a decent amount of time (a month or so after I move). I can try and get back to Super America in Fairmont (NOT Albert Lea where I was before) since that's where I'll be going to school. I'm *sure* that I could get Audrey (my old boss) to put in a good word for me there; she liked me a lot. Either way, I WILL find work. I no longer have another schedule to work around nor the pull of wanting to be home with my loved one at night. Until school starts next fall (that is my goal right now) I can work whatever the hell hours I can get. I might even try to get in at St. Luke's again as a CNA (since that is kinda the first step to surgical tech and it would look FANTASTIC on my resume). Hell, depending on how things line up and what kind of terms Chris and I are on, I may be able to get him to put in a good word for me to take his job. It's a long shot, but I can't discount anything right now!

I told Laura last night about all this too. She's going to support me doing whatever I do, but she did voice some valid concerns. She is afraid that I might fall back into the pattern I was in before without her there to push me. She's afraid that me living in that apartment might do more harm than good, because of all the memories. She's afraid that while I'll be very happy at first but then I'll be unhappy again because of geography. I told her to think of me as a car battery. I was dead before she got me and bringing me here gave me a jump. Staying here is going to give me juice and charge me up to full so that when I go back I can do all the things I need to do. That I will still have mom to push me and she will be able to do so from far away. While yes, the apartment does carry a lot of memories with it, so do a plethora of other things, such as Star Trek, video games, Swedish Fish, etc. I need to start making new memories and I can't let myself shy away and fear these things. And before, yes, I was unhappy because of where I lived. However, I lived with someone controlling, who never wanted to leave the house. I will be alone with no one to tell me what I can and can't do. If I want to go to Mankato and go dancing or something, I will. Because I'll have the freedom to do what I want, when I want, without having to worry about upsetting someone. 

I know that she's going to be upset to see me go, but we both know I gotta do me right now and I gotta take care of me and do what makes ME happy. And frankly, being near family makes me happy. I lost my blood family a long time ago... The Newman's are my family now. If I got nothing else from that relationship, I got a family that loves me and cares for me and a family that I adore. 

On the note of Laura, I'm going to talk to her about taking Derpy (their kitten) off their hands; she knows that him going with me will be a good thing since he will be loved and taken care of and have playmates. I'm also going to talk to her about Rob's car; they plan on selling it anyways, so if they are selling it at a reasonable price I'll ask if they'll sell it to me. 

I think that's it for today, lovelies. I know that I've been blogging SO much lately, but my brain has just been in over-load mode so there are a lot of things floating around up there. @_@