Depression. It sucks. A lot. It seems to be plaguing me something terrible. Something along the lines of the fourth (and longest) stage of grief. I'm so incredibly tired all the time and my interest to do anything except veg out is nonexistent. I've been trying to force myself to do things - write, occasionally play games, etc.
I'm losing weight! Woot! My rings are fitting looser and a pair of jeans I couldn't hardly wear three months ago fit me and they're even loose in the thighs. Baby steps, but steps nonetheless!
I had an interview this morning for a night time job to supplement my first one. The interview went really well. However then I got a call about an hour later saying they couldn't use me because they needed someone full-time not part time. -_-;; Even though when we spoke on the phone to arrange the interview it was made clear I wanted part time AND my application said that too. -shakes head- I was really hoping to get it to help with my money situation but I'll deal. There was a reason it didn't happen.
I received some bad news about my grandmother in Florida this week. She was in a coma and couldn't breathe on her own. She is still on a ventilator but she's conscious and alert. We're taking it a day at a time right now and just holding our breaths until the doctors can give us more news. If things get bad, I'll be making an impromptu, brief trip to Florida. I hope it doesn't came to that though. =/
Still working on Courting the Rose and stuff for the forums. I added another new character - Skylar Jadyn (who was formerly Jaqualyn Cherloc). I wish more people would participate! Mom and I are the only ones who have made story posts. :(
And of course, the topic that I touch on nearly every post - Chris. Things are still weird with him. We're still talking often through Facebook. I decided to man up and be mature the other day and sent him this message:
We told each other three months ago that when we were ready, we would do the friend thing again. I'm not sure about you, but I know I've done an enormous amount of growth in those three months and while there are still a lot that hurts, I'm getting there and I'd like for us to be friends.
However, I am well aware that your woman is not in the least bit fond of me. I want you to be happy and I don't want to cause trouble. If once you move there and she doesn't want you talking to me... I can understand that. Doesn't mean that I'll like it, but I can understand.
He responded to me with this:
Sarah has been reasonably understanding of our talking, and while she doesn't prefer it she doesn't feel the need to stomp her foot on it. I'm willing, but not there yet. Your little out burst to Nathan, no matter how upset you were, was very painful to me. I'm just not ready to have you completely involved in everything. I think we're good where we are for the time being, and if things keep going like they have been we can look into becoming friends beyond the random FB banter again. I've already forgiven you Tina. The problem is in my willingness to include you in anything else. I'll get over it, given some time.
So yeah... =/ Looks like I fucked up big time when I sent that damned vengeful message to Sarah's brother. He did, however, tell me that he could see my growth from the distance he's at and was very proud of me for it all. He sent me a gif yesterday of a sloth yawning with its tongue out (I sometimes yawn like this). It made me smile but it makes me wonder how/why he remembers little things like that and acknowledges them. Also... I just thought that I would included these photos. Just... because. They made my day.
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