Emotionally Fucked

Mood:  Upset
Listening to: League of Legends dubstep mix 
Reading: Dragonriders of Pern
Watching: Deathnote
Playing: -
Eating: -
Drinking: -



First off, I'd like to say that I HATE the font selection for this thing. I really do. They're all pain. I really feel that the type of font you use can help convey messages. And when it's all bland like the options given, there really isn't enough umph to a message. 


Anyways. 


Today, I am very upset. I can already tell that this is going to be a very bad cycle for me because I broke down in hysterical tears on the way home from picking C up because I was telling him about how frustrated I was all day and he said (jokingly) that he didn't wanna hear it, that I didn't work all day and deal with the shit that he did. Well I certainly didn't take it in a joking manner and thus, the waterworks commenced. I really didn't have a grip on myself. Couple that with the fact that my wisdom teeth were going wild yesterday and I wanted to slash my gums open and take the demon teeth out myself, and you have a pretty unhappy Wynter. (On that note, I plan on trying to visit a dentist on Friday, or whenever they have an opening, hopefully get something for the pain and a referral to an oral surgeon for removal of the teeth.) 


So, a little background really quick (even though I covered some of it in a previous entry). I graduated with high honors from high school and had my choice at pretty much any college I wanted (within reason, of course). I decided to enroll at Florida Southern College (a pretty prestigious college in that area, and in the country actually) in the education program (I was a Hollis scholar, one of only 12). My first semester went great. I fucking loved college life. Then my dad died in January and life was pretty much turned upside down. My work was slipping, grades were slipping, I took to drowning myself with the only thing that helped me shut out reality - World of Warcraft. Now you're probably laughing at me and calling me a nerd or whatever. Yah, I know. But WoW was where my friends were. My real life friends weren't really of any support or help to me (there were the very few exceptions, but for the most part, I got my support from friends in-game) so I went to the only place that I felt safe.  This is actually where I (re)met C, and he was a big player in helping me along in this time period. 
Anyways, getting off-topic. I came to the realization that (at that point in life) I didn't want to teach, that I wanted to cook. And I was upset with the fact that I was having to take a bunch of bullshit classes just to be a teacher (like the stupid desktop publishing design class that I hated). So I finished out the year (kind of) and withdrew. Moved to Minnesota and things have been kinda rocky. I'm in debt from going to FSC (I wouldn't be had my inheritance not been stolen from me) so I can't take out any loans, so I'm kinda stuck with FAFSA. Until recently, I wasn't aware that the closest college (almost an hour away) offered a few online courses. So I'm jumping at the opportunity to get back in school -- it will help me to get jobs and give me something to do. 
Except, by FAFSA's rules, I'm still a dependent on my female parental unit, even though I haven't really lived with her in two years and I'm of legal age in every other aspect. And since she and I aren't really in speaking terms, getting information from here is very... tense. (She did some pretty unforgivable things to be that I can't and refuse to look past.) So for the past two weeks, I've been going round and round with her, trying to get the information. And if it's not one thing, it's another with her. "Oh my power cord for my computer broke." "Visit your brother's FAFSA and get my info." -visit his and see that it hasn't even been filled out for this year- 


Really? C'mon now, you took enough from me, you stupid bitch, at least give me the ability to try to go back to school.