For the past week or so, I've really been thinking about 2013 and everything that it has brought me. I've been trying to rate it, 1-5, and compare it to 2012. 2012 was great. We bought a car. I went to visit my [former] best friend in Wyoming and then she came here. I got engaged! I got my kitty, Misa, for our three year anniversary gift. I'm sure there were other things in there that I didn't touch on; those were just the big ones.
2013 started out pretty awful for me. I lost my fiance, my home, my cats, my car, and my security. I thought that I was being taken somewhere safe (Wyoming, with Laura) but that just kicked me in the ass too and I then lost one of my supposed best-friend, my car, my home, and my security. Again. I found myself knocked on my ass once more, struggling to just get my footing. It really was like the song says: "I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down." I got knocked around a good fair bit this year, and while it usually took me a while to get back up, I always did. In addition to the aforementioned things, a lot of other shitty thinks happened - I [temporarily] lost my very best friend, and it was very real and I thought that we wouldn't ever mend the damage, I broke someone's heart, I pushed myself too far and did some things I wasn't proud of and didn't actually want to do, I've suffered financial woes alone and thought that I was going to be broke ad infinitum, and my kitten died.
However, some great things have happened this year for me. I bought my very own car. All mine. I got my cats back. I've started paying off my school loans so that I can eventually go back to school for photography. I've been gainfully employed since May. I rescued a premie kitten named Snow (who died and mom brought back to life). I treated myself to two new tattoos with very important meaning to me AND to finally go see my favouite band, Nine Inch Nails. I've made up with my best friend and he's coming out to see me and the family in a month or so (we're hoping work doesn't complicate things!). I've taken some serious steps forward and I'm now independent and able to survive on my own (with a roommate, of course!). My self-esteem is returning. I'm remembering and embracing who I am.
I'm becoming the me I need to me.
Overall, this year had a lot of ups and an equal share of downs. I'm going to rate it a neutral 3 because of this.
Here's to hoping that 2014 gives me (and everyone else!) more ups than downs, more smiles than frowns, more laughter than tears, and more joys than fears.
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